Old Cat Hollow.

You know what? I live in a ghost town and it used to be called Old Cat Hollow (oh how I wish it was still called that). It's not your typical ghost town with old rotting general stores and crumbling churches though, but it's awfully close. This wee pie-shaped hamlet was once a bustling hub in the mid to late 1800s and included a mill, a ship building yard and a bunch of old sailors and rum runners. Sadly though, there are no remains left of the mill or the shipyard and the old general store is now just a regular house. For the most part, all of the history of this place died with the people who settled here.

There are quite a few spots around here that really creep me out so I thought I'd share a few with you (in trusty ol' black and white). Don't look too closely at any of these photos though, or you just might see a serial killer or a ghostly old drunken sailor peeking back at you. (Cue theremin music...)

Takin' Care of Business: Office/Studio Makeover

Today's the day I finally reveal my office/studio overhaul. I must say, I am SO happy with how it has turned out. Now my old man and I have a super practical place to do our business - no, I don't mean business as in taking a number one or two silly, I mean getting shit done! Err...

Just in case you're new here or you forget how the old office space looked, you can check out some pictures here. There are some familiar elements that I kept or altered and some entirely new ones also. In the end, I think this makeover cost me about $60 including paint, furniture and supplies. I also managed to really pare down some useless stuff, which always makes me happy.

Now, I know some of you may look at this space and say to yourselves, "It sure would look better without that dude hanging out in the corner. Why is she such a weirdo with that guy?" Well deal with it! His name is Henri and he is my resident intern. He helps me pack orders for the shop and also assists with light housecleaning duties and yard work (despite his missing limbs).

I rewired and painted an old red barn light I found and hung it over the work table by swagging it (who needs an electrician?). It is an amazing source of direct light for projects and packing. The old tabletop was sanded and lacquered and my husband built the base out of old fence posts and pine boards. We stained it with a black wash and that was that. I ended up finding a smaller, black filing cabinet for $2 so that ended up being used instead of the army green one I had originally found.

The $7 cupboard got a fresh coat of white paint, some new hinges and handles (including these) and I took off the crappy top doors and just left it as open shelving. I also added some dowel and now have a roller for my brown paper. I have tons of storage space for supplies in here now. No more running around to three different parts of the house when I have to pack something.

I sprayed the ABC from red to high gloss white so it adds a nice, subtle contrast to the matte walls. My ma (who has great taste!) found us a new schoolhouse clock that matches the space much better than the last one we had in here.

My husband is a nerd and because of that, he mounted his monitor to the wall to free up more desk space for his 3 computers (2 are thankfully absent for this photo). It does look a lot better this way than it did before, although I did find him in here on Sunday in his underwear watching two different soccer games - one on the monitor and one on his laptop. What a creep.

I changed out the photo display in the bathroom/laundry room and have a new black & white theme happening for the moment. I'm sure it will change again soon, maybe to photos that are all one color or something equally as contrived. I do love the black and white poking it's head out though. I think it carries nicely with the office theme (shit, is there a theme?).

I cleared out the book shelves a bit and removed some knick-knacks, as they were getting out of hand. I plan to use some of these shelves to display a few store items until they sell. I like the idea of having rotating display pieces, it keeps things interesting and reminds me that I shouldn't get too attached to stuff. (I'm like a foster mom for thrift store finds).

The crappy old 50s elementary school stool got a new lease on life with some army green spray paint. I sanded off the paint splatters and crap on the seat and then lacquered it and just like that, it looks new again!

And there you have it...

The next project is a bedroom updo! Say buh-bye to the turquoise and hello to an old friend, army green. Check back next week for photos.

Rocks rock!

Okay, here's where I fess up and say that I've become quite the mega rock dweeb since I moved out to the shores of Lake Ontario. And no, I don't mean classic rock, I don't mean crack cocaine...I'm talking about one of the best free decor items around: ROCKS!

 It all started with this beauty, which is some sort of rock that I can't identify (actually, I can't properly identify most rocks other than being able to say if they're interesting and/or pretty). This rock is SO smooooth and soft it's almost creepy. After finding this one, I started trying to find more just like it and 2 years later, I haven't found anything even close. What I have found though is a new love for rock hunting and collecting. I have a carefully curated and ever-changing bowl of rocks (with a few pieces of driftwood) on the dining room table, a carrying case full of beach glass, pottery and smaller more intricate stones and my gardens are full of large stones that I love. ('my gardens'!? whatever, grandma!)

My bowl includes rocks with stripes...

...rocks with zigzags, fossils and other patterns...

...some round egg rocks...

...some oddly shaped and/or mottled rocks...

...and this one, one of my all-time favorites, a giant molar rock! (it also looks kinda like a cupcake)...

...and finally, my newly erected penis rock collection!

I'll be sure to keep you all abreast of any future penis rock additions. 

Anyone else collect rocks?
If so, do you collect weird ones?
If so, I wanna see!

Scavenger Hunt: Sherwood Steelite Restaurant Ware Dishes

Okay all y'alls! I am throwing it all out there with an APB, an SUV and an STD for these dishes. I am in love with them and must find more!

I came across these dishes at the thrift store a little while ago and immediately fell in love with them. The colors, pattern and the fact that they're restaurant ware to boot really floats my boat.

I tried looking on eBay and Etsy for these beauties and came up empty handed (except for a few pieces that would cost me $100,000 to buy). I have a feeling that these are going to be a real challenge to find...

Please help me by keeping your eye out in your junking travels. Even if it's just one plate I will buy it from you with Canadian Tire money cold, hard cash! The only pieces I'm not interested in are cups and saucers. Everything else? Bring it on!

The pattern is called Sherwood and they're made by Royal Doulton as part of the restaurant ware line called Steelite, which I think are the best line of mid century dishes around (they even rival my all-time favorite dishes, Franciscan Starburst). So what are you waiting for? Go, GO!!!

Side Show.

This summer I found a pair of Bertoia side chairs at a yard sale. They were $50 for the pair (well, I haggled the old bag down $5 so they were $45 in the end) - pretty cheap! They were in really rough shape though, with lots of rust and paint wear (they were originally white) and I wasn't too sure I even wanted to bother with them. I originally bought them so I could fix them up to resell in Toronto but decided to think about that idea for a while instead. While I debated I went ahead and cleaned, wire brushed and then painted them (of course I chose black so they'd match my decor...I must have already been leaning on keeping the bastards). Then, when they were done, they sat in the barn for a few months while I battled my inner "everyone has them" & "they're in every magazine and on every show" demons. 

Well, for now I have decided to hold onto them and use them in the house to fill a few gaps. If I do decide to keep them for a while, I'll invest in a pair of chair pads for them since they cause some pretty bad waffle butt. (Is something that causes waffle butt REALLY that well designed? I have my doubts...)

Polishing a Turd.

Okay wait, that's a mean title and now I feel sorry for our old barn. All of the people who trudged away in it over the last 150 years who are now dead are gonna get me for saying that. Shiiiiiiit. When we first bought the house, the barn looked pretty shitty. There were weed trees everywhere and there was crap all over the place.

The barn windows (which you can barely see) were smashed and each frame was a different color - one red and one white. Beautiful! Very Canadian. The truth is though, we love our rickety old barn and plan to try and bring it up to speed some day (when we have money in 2065). We have put a bit of money into it already just to ensure it wouldn't fall down if my husband or Frenchie farted too close to it. We had some guys come by last spring who restore old barns while likely high on coke and just out of jail and they straightened it out a bit with cables and put in some new support columns at the corners.

We also cleaned out all of the really old hay that was upstairs (thanks for helping mom but hello Mesothelioma) and I hung up an old barn light instead of the bare bulb that was there.

For the most part though, I haven't done much in the way of curb appeal and to make it fit in with the property and our house. Also, the barn guys had to add a new piece of wood at the front where the two sections meet so we then had a big, ugly piece of new wood that stood out really badly. So, over the last few weeks I embarked on a wee project to spruce up the joint and try and make it look relatively presentable until we can get the front doors and some of the rotting wood replaced. Once we've done that, I'm just going to grow vines all around it and let them swallow it up.

See that piece of wood in the middle!? Damn that piece of wood! I tried to stain it grey so it wouldn't be so new looking but it still looks shitty. Oh well, it looks better than it did (barely).

I planted some evergreens, painted the windows black, fixed the broken panes and added window boxes that my husband made for me. I crammed in some pine and sumach for now, just to get an idea of what they will look like with greenery in them (Christmas-y, I know) and in the spring I'll just plant hanging vines and that will be that. 

Eventually I want the exterior of my house, barn and gardens to look like they were plucked out of the creepiest part of Savannah, Georgia. I also want the rest of that bloody lattice on the fence to bite the dust. Some day I'll get there.

The Sexiest Halloween EVER.

I thought I would share a great idea for a Halloween costume with you ladies (and gents) in case you were wracking your brain for ideas. I know the ladies always want to look super sexxxy in their Halloween get ups and dress up in unique costumes like a nurse or Cat Woman or maybe a sexy bunny or something. But have you ever thought about dressing up as a 7 foot piece of poop to really sex out the joint? Yea? Well look no further! Here's the idea you've been waiting for and I'm here to tell you that I am living PROOF that you will look like a babe in it and probably get cat-called the whole time you're wearing it.

Back when I was working at 'The NOW', we had a costume contest every year where you could win BIG prizes like an iPod NANO! WHOA! (I told you they were big). One year I dressed as Nancy Grace and lost and another year, well, I don't remember what I was because clearly it sucked and clearly I lost. The last year that I worked there, I had a real surge of winner jolt through my body and just like that I knew what would take top prize. And let me tell you, nothing was going to stop me from that iPod NANO even if I had to spend twice the amount of it's worth.

I spent about $100 on this sucker and probably about 15 hours making it. I formed the body from chicken wire, cardboard and paper mache (fancy, I know) and then textured the whole thing with spray on insulation. After that, I painted the whole thing brown and added the necessary details like corn, peanuts, flies and toilet paper pieces. I also made a pair of poop shoes with the same paper mache process.

I bought some of those redneck teeth things (that are likely full of lead and bisphenol-A) and some fart spray and really let the joint have it when I came in to do my walk down the judging aisle.

The guy in the chair wearing the Converse and tights tried to dress up as ME, if you can believe it. Good luck looking as gorgeous as me, honey!

My friend Stacy had a pretty awesome shark attack costume but sadly for her, nothing could compare to the walking monster poo. Sorry. So, in the end I won the stinking Nano (which I recently sold at a yard sale for $5) and once I got over myself we decided to walk down the street to McDonald's. When we went inside I asked if I could use the washroom and no one laughed. Then we turned around and left and felt pretty fucking cool.

Office Makeover Update: Floored by Toxicity.

Well, I'm just going to come right out and say it: painted wood floors are overrated!

Okay, not really but kind of. I absolutely love painted floors, don't get me wrong, but the painful process of actually painting and maintaining them needs to be addressed for just a moment here people. Almost all of the wood floors in my house are painted and will likely need to be repainted every 2-3 years. They were painted before we moved in and I have decided to keep painting them because sanding off years of lead paint is just not something I'm up for. As part of my office revamp, I am painting the floor again. When we first moved in 2 years ago I decided on painting the floor dark brown for two simple reasons: brown resembles the color of poop and brown resembles the color of dirt.

I tried to use the old Portuguese and Italian decor trick of "brown marbled tiles everywhere!" in this room and it just didn't work. The brown poop color didn't do a very good job at hiding much of anything and worse, it made the room super dark. So, as idiotic ideas would have it, I have decided to paint the floor a very light grey color that should open the room up even though it will show everything. I'm sure the dirt and hair will accumulate in there rapidly and I'll gouge my eyes out trying to keep it clean but I'm doing it anyway because I'm mental. The next problem? I have to use oil based paint that absolutely REEKS! I'm dying over here as I type this. 1-800-Iron Lung Restoration. Call me!

I could have tackled this paint job in two ways: The first would be to use an oil based primer and then paint the floors with latex and that way any future paint jobs would be reek-free (or almost). The second option would be to skip the primer step and just use oil paint and get it the hell over with. So, of course, I took the second option because either way I'd have to deal with toxic oil paint and I didn't want to have to deal with doing 3 coats instead of 1 1/2 (yea, 1 coat with touch ups). So, when I have to repaint in two years because it looks like shit maybe then I'll do the switch to latex via the oil primer.

So, here's how it looks now with the first coat on. It definitely brightens the room up even though it's a little less grey than I was hoping it would be. Get out the broom, mop and vacuum and let the maintenance begin! If I'm not dead or brain damaged, my new office should be revealed in a week or two.

The Fall.

While I was on my way to pick up my husband the other day, I saw these amazing fall colors. For a brief moment they made me forget that I had a large and painful zit forming on my chin.