Oh Hey, Hay.

WTF!? Friday

"Well howdy there, ya's all! My name is Bert Jiggs-Juggs and I'd like to welcome you to Plywood Farms."

"Oh hi there sexy, my name is Brandi-Lynn Jiggs-Juggs and I'm just enjoying a relaxing day by the lattice and chicken wire fence."

"YEE HAWWW! Just another day workin' hard on the farm. Say, do you see them geese birds flyin' all in a straight line? Nature sure is perrty!"

Whoa! Apparently Tammi Jiggs-Juggs was too busy to talk as she was kicking ass in a race against a ghost driven horse and buggy. Go Tammi!

I'm not sure what she's trying to do with her hair, but it's not really working. What is working though is her awesome flipped up 80s handlebars and no hands mad skillz! Kill it on the scene, girl!

"I'm Pawpy Jiggs-Juggs and just wanted to thank all youse guys for stoppin' by. We really know how to have fun and let loose here so if you wanna stop in for a beer some day just come on by (and bring your own beer cuz we don't share)."

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Um, do you ever wonder what the deal is with people and their crazy lawn decorations? Are they actually cool, interesting people you could party with who are just giving the finger to the typical suburban style landscape or are they total whack jobs who are just completely out to lunch? Take this next place. It's pretty banal looking except for that hot pink piano on the front lawn...

Look a little closer and you'll see Betty "weird boobs" Boop hanging out on top!

And lastly, this next strange display isn't quite lawn decor but it's in a similar realm. I saw this pair in the window of a clinic in Toronto that sells dentures and hearing aids. I nearly drove the car into a hydrant when I saw them!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Not only are they a pair of weirdos but that poster on the left with the teeth just takes the whole scene right over the top.

Minnie Mouse slippers and a boa! What a trendsetter.

Gramps looks like a cross between Einstein and Colonel Sanders...

Those hands! Ahhhhhh! I could NOT eat a pie baked by those hands.
(I must admit, making these things looks like it would take some skill, albeit strange apple doll style skills, but skill nonetheless.)

Is skill a word? I just said it too many times and now it doesn't sound right.
Do you like anything enough to have a shrine of it on your lawn?
Do you have any lawn decor at your house?
Did you drive a flipped up handlebar dirt bag speed bike in the 80s or are you too young for that shit?

How NOT to Build a Porch.

Looking Up.

WTF!? Friday

Peek-a-boo!

Here's what I got my old man for Valentine's Day...

Speaking of trucks, the other day I had to pick up a few items at the local Bulk Barn and I came out to find this glorious machine in front of my car.

WEEPEE!? Okay, I get it! Your truck is yellow and pee is yellow and you can also say, "I have to take a wee," instead of pee. Hrm, normally I'd think something like this was kind of awesome and consider their weird sense of humor a nice change from the usual, um, flow, but there is something awfully annoying about this whole thing. Perhaps it's the Tweety Bird license plate frame or that huge DODGE bullshiz on the windshield. It's just lame. It has given me a calling though and that is to find me a big old clunker truck, paint it brown and get my own personalized license plate that says BWLMVMNT. On the sides I'm gonna make it say DUMP TRUCK in huge letters. If you saw me roll into town in something like that, would I be awesome? Or would I deserve a punch in the mouth? Or both?


Speaking of, um, the colors of poop and pee...could this place be any more bleak?

Could I offer you a snack?

Okay, what is happening here? Is that one garlic bulb dude looking to smash his garlic friend into bits? And from behind, no less!? And how is smashed garlic a snack? Shit, I should have bought this plate.

This would make a MUCH better and non-violent snack, methinks.

And last but not least, I'd like to introduce you to the real life Li'l Mr. T!

He's so small that even the photo is teeny weeny low pixel!

Now, I have to confess, I did not take this photo nor did I meet this awesome dude in person but I just had to share him with ya's all. A loving and old time friend of mine, Lisa Michelle from NYC's Court, went to Vegas last week and met this li'l mofo in the bathroom. How lucky was she!? (Well, hopefully not TOO lucky...)

OCD Medications.

Welcome to the Uptight Time Warp Pharmacy.

Please ensure that you keep everything strategically aligned and pushed right to the front of the shelf while you shop.

123, 321, 123, 321, 1, 2, 3, 3, 2, 1.
(Ahem, sorry. I have a chronic counting problem.)

"Joanne to aisle 4, Joanne to aisle 4 for an emergency restock on baby formula! We've got a gap on the shelf! Code blue!"

I love how conveniently I can find a copy of Ground Beef magazine with this highly organized system!

Who owns this joint anyway? Can you imagine the hell of working here each day?

Glacial.

Hitting Pause on the Thrift Store Conveyor Belt.

The last 2 weeks have been pretty good to me in thrift store land. I don't normally post much about my finds because they fly in and out of here so fast I can barely process them. Well, this week I thought I would share a few things I came across that, to me, stood out from the usual assembly line of stuff. 

I found a few new pieces of furniture for the house (which means I have yet another pile of painting and reorganizing projects to work on) and some great stuff for the shop. My favorite furniture find was a harvest style table with an old, simple wood base and a 50s classroom formica with chrome top. I have been wanting something bigger (and non-teak) for ages and really wanted a harvest style table, but I find they're either too "country pine" with turned legs or they're WAY out of my price range. So you can imagine how happy I was to find this sucker for $28!

It was covered in old computer monitors and I didn't even notice it when we checked out that section. My ma, with her zoomer capabilities, spotted it from across the room and we both ran for it. The top was pretty scratched up and will have to be replaced sooner than later. I plan on getting some old barn board, having it planed and glued into one big slab for the top. This way, I can even extend the size a little bit more so all of my poopy bummed cats and dog can find seating at our weekly disciplinary meetings. So, for now, I have painted the entire top (including the chrome sides as they were trashed and not salvageable) high gloss black. It'll do the trick until I can find a low cost but high impact replacement option.

(You know what a new table means though, right? I now have to rethink the whole room. Ugh.)

Speaking of my ma, she found herself yet another Lotte lamp for her collection for a cool $8.

And I found this incredible fabric that I plan to list in the shop. I kinda hate to sell it but it just doesn't go with anything (although it could very well go with something once i have redecorated my house 16 times in the next year...)

And I found a super nice Dansk pepper mill for next to nothing which has already come and gone from the shop.

I'm in love with this $2 West German pottery bowl I found. It now has a new home on my living room coffee table.

Speaking of green, I thought this was a pretty rad cotton sheet that will also be in the shop soon.

And last but not least, I also picked up a FABULOUS case of the flu. It's a mid century style flu so I guess all of this luck comes with a price...