Awesome Real Life Characters: Zoomer

Every thrift store has them, right? Weirdo picker men who bury their heads in the crappy electronics and go back to the same store 4, 5, 6 times a day, every day...kinda like this old guy...

Well, I have an extra special picker man who I see at almost every church rummage sale, every decent yard sale, every estate sale and he is also a regular at one of the thrift stores I frequent. I call him Zoomer. 

He wears the same outfit every single day, which also means he wears the same outfit every single season of the year. -20 outside? He'll be wearing his tear away pants, windbreaker and baseball hat. +30 and sunny? Same outfit. I'm kind of obsessed with this guy, as he has a super zooming technique that he uses on every item he picks up.

Look at him go! He is zooming in so hard on that crappy hula girl from the dollar store. Sometimes he spends 5 minutes or more zooming on one thing, trying to find any sort of marking that proves it's worth a billion dollars instead of 50 cents. (I must admit, I totally do that too).

My pictures are pretty shit because I had to, um, zoom in on him from afar. I have tried on a few occasions to get a good shot of him but he is such a hawk that I'm afraid he's going to catch me and then cut me up into pieces and feed me to his mother.

Pudding, Tea and Jumpers.

Just booked our (almost annual) trip to England today. We're heading there in August. 

My old man is British so yea, he talks funny and loves tea.

WTF!? Friday

FYI people!

This picture makes me want to unclench my fists, patch up all the holes in the walls and channel my constant rage into tender kisses.

Whoa, this guy is really pulling out all of the stops - he's GOING OUT FOR BUSINESS! I wonder what amazing marketing ideas he has up his sleeve? Is he planning on going door to door or something?

WHOA, no taxssths on recliner's's's's!!!!

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you a monkey in a shirt on a teacup eating a banana.

Um...seriously? This is a healing temple? And it's part of a 'world-wide' association? I just want to know, can I buy drugs here?

"Daddy, is this what heaven looks like?"

Beware the thrift store sleeper creeper! (Huh? Where? Who?)

"Honey, you go ahead and look around at your bed bug infested thrift store crap. I'm just going to sit in this big ol' chair tucked underneath this here shelf and read a boooo.....kthzzz...zzz..."

Odds & Ends.

Today I went out on a little thrift run and, although I didn't find much, I did find a weirdo mix of Victorian eccentric granny items that I may just have to keep for my senile elderly years...

The white necklaces are all old and made with glass beads, the granny shoes are old leather oxfords made in Canada, the locket is pretty cool even though I hate lockets but check out the best piece, the totally bizarre furry cat head brooch with crust on his nose!

Whoa! This thing is really strange and I'm kind of in love with it. Who knows, it could even be new and from the dollar store and made out of not-so-human hair but I don't care. Giant furry kitteh head brooch...I love you.

In other news, my number one picker (that's my ma) found me three of these seafoam green office chairs. They're all in mint condition and, although the color reminds me of everything I hate about the dentist and dental care, I love them. I'm selling them at my teeny tiny retail space as I don't think I can handle mailing these suckers too far.

I came across this beauty two weeks ago in Toronto for $20. It's a Carlo of Hollywood original and is the epitome of mid century abstract art. (Carlo of Hollywood created a whole shitload of paintings for department stores to sell as decorative art). I love the colors in it so much. My mom had been looking for something to hang above her couch for ages and when I saw this, I knew I had to get it for her. Now, I must say I did toy with it in my house first in a desperate attempt to steal it away from her but I couldn't find a place that worked. Or if it did work, it worked so well that my living room ended up looking like a mid century movie set. So, off it went and it looks great in her space.

That same day I also found these faux Eames chairs for $6. They're in really rough shape and need an overhaul so stay tuned to see what I manage to do with them. When the weather warms up in the next few weeks and I can paint outside WATCH OUT! I'm going to be on a painting marathon.

Check out these beauties - original boxes and all! I don't think I've ever found Pyrex in the original box before.

Look at that 70s roasted chicken dish...

Plumped and glistening!

Dune Walk.

WTF!? Friday: Sign Language

Yay, WTF!? Friday is back after a two week hiatus. This week we're going to zoom in on some idiotic business names so let's start with a recent favorite of mine...

Imagine my delight when I drove by this dump of a place and saw the name of their business, Butterfly Sensations. Bwahahahahahah! What exactly does a butterfly sensation feel like anyway? Just a light little tickle? A yucky spidery sensation? I just don't know but what I do know is that it's really dumb.

What says elegance more than saying it en Francais? What says elegance more than spelling elegance right and wrong on the same sign? And could this place be any more elegant!? Simply gorgeous.

"Say Margaret, have you been to U & I Fashion & Beauty lately? They now carry the highly coveted Everbest line! I heard on the news that those garbage bins had to be put in front of the door to keep the crowds back."

 

Me: "Did you get diarrhea from that dusty old pepperoni stick you bought at YES?"

You: "YES".

Something tells me that I will not have a good time here, especially with those vertical blinds hanging around in the windows. Maybe I could go and change the sign with some black spray paint so it looks like this:

 

So many possibilities...

Buuut whaaat if I waaant a thirrrd beeeer, waaaaa!?
(This place is the perfect dirt bag set up - they live in one of those crappy apartments on the second floor and on a Friday night they'll head down to Cash House for a $40 advance on their paycheck. Then they go to Second Beer for 7 beers and then it's over to Papa's Pizza for a stale slice. After all that it's right back upstairs to bed. Repeat.)

Okay seriously, is this bar only open this month? What day is it today, March 18? Is this the right month or was this sign/bar from last month? Hello?

Bedroom Update.

Well, I thought I might as well, um, brief all youse's on my bedroom redo since it's still not done (and likely never will be, of course). I plan on adding shutters next week and ditching the curtains in a crazy window treatment experiment so we'll see if that flies or not. Let me just say - I hate window treatments. Even the term window treatment makes me get all riled up because I envision valances and sheer curtains dangling on the floor. Anyway, although I do have curtains in my living room, I'd like to keep it at that and just have shutters on all of my upstairs windows. Too bad custom wood shutters that are not ugly California vinyl shutters cost $800,000. Okay, that was overly dramatic.

So yea, I painted the back wall army green (Dakota Woods Green by Benjamin Moore) and painted the reading lights black. I also made some throw pillows from really old homespun blankets I bought at an auction a few years ago. I'm really trying to go communist in this room (does that even make any sense?) so that's where my inspiration comes from. You can just go ahead and call me Li'l Commando.

My cat Badooda is a communist you know...

I bought a great rug from Ikea that works well under the bed. Also, in case you missed it, check out my older posts about the weirdo bull's ball light hanging in here as well as the mega DDIY starburst ceiling medallion.

Some day I'll get rid of this damn Malm bed and upgrade to something unique! Damn you Malm!

I recently found this awesome 1950s map of Greece that was hand drawn and colored. I love all of the military colors in it...(duh!)

I can't say I know why I'm obsessed with all things army because I really don't know. This obsession has been stuck with me for quite a long time (literally too, as I have a few military style tattoos permanently stuck to my arms) and extends into my taste for fashion and graphic design also. Let it just be known that I hate camouflage! Anyway, I'm rambling now, right? I'll update you next week about the shutters as well as a few other things I have planned.

Should I just join the army and get over this crap?
Even though I don't believe in past lives, could I have been a Li'l Commando in a past life?