Take Your Lumps.

(The photos in this post are pretty low quality. Most were taken on my old iPhone but you'll get the drift, right?)

Okay, so I have this huge lump on my right middle finger.

As if my hands weren't horrendous enough, now I have this small child of a tumor growing on one of my stumps. This lump didn't used to be this big, no no, it was just a teeny tiny thing two years ago when it first appeared. You see, way back when I was restoring the 44 wood windows in my house I started suffering from carpal tunnel and other hand/wrist pains. So what did I do? Go to the doctor? Noooooo, I just carried on doing other laborious jobs like painting my entire house (inside and out), sanding furniture, gardening and lawn work, etc. Well obviously I was an idiot because this lump is now huge - it talks and even eats with its own knife and fork. 

I am finally having it removed next week and it has meant a few trips to the doctor's office for check ups and xrays to make sure I didn't have cancer of the middle finger (oh the irony and karma would have been just too much if that were the case. I can't tell you how many people I have given the finger to with this very digit over the years). The doctor thinks the lump was likely caused by an injury from all the repetitive manual labour I've been doing since I moved here. See? DIY isn't all it's cracked up to be! Why do you think roofers, landscapers, etc all have bad backs, bum knees and skin cancer? Because home maintenance is a health hazard. 

All this lump stuff has led me to ponder very deep questions about life, such as what the hell hospitals, dentists and doctors are thinking with the peach and blue color combo!? Is it supposed to be a relaxing palette chosen especially for people with lumps, mobility scooters and oxygen tanks? 

Is this 'industrial' look going to be trendy 20 years from now? 

Maybe this huge plastic Herman Miller shelf will be a design collectible of the future? "I'm just dying to get my hands on one of those beige, plastic Herman Miller medical wall shelves from 2012 but they're so hard to find. They're going for $6500 on eBay!"

And this lamp? How on-trend is this floor lamp? Do you think people would want it as bad if they knew it was used to peer into women's vaginas for the last 30 years? Probably...I guess that's what gives it its 'character'. Speaking of character, note the 70s oven mitts on the examination table...

I'm not so sure any tongue depressor is ideal.

And could a bed pan ever be perfection? I guess it could be if it was 100 years old and had been peed and pooped into a minimum of 75 times by a soldier in the first world war. Then it would be collectible, right?  

Does your doctor's office creep you out?

Did Doogie Howser M.D. have a peach and blue office?
Are we looking at a future trend in the making?